September isn't always a return to routine. For many families, it's the start of a completely new phase: the first day of school, the first time in daycare, or the first prolonged separation of the little one from their primary caregivers. A moment filled with emotions, both for children and their parents.
And yes, even though it may seem like they'll be the one crying the most... often we're the ones with a knot in our stomachs (and hearts).
Here are some simple tips to navigate this change with calm, security, and a lot of love, without dramatizing... but also without minimizing its significance.
1. Validating their feelings is the first step
If your child is scared, more irritable, or cries as soon as the word "school" is mentioned, it's not because they're being "fussy" or "difficult." It's normal: they're going to be separated from what they know, from you. Validating those emotions without trying to suppress them is very important. You can tell them:
"I understand you might be a little scared, this is all new. But we'll take it one step at a time, and I'll always be close."
This helps them feel understood and secure.
2. Anticipation helps reduce anxiety
Talk about the change in advance, naturally, without putting pressure or expectations. Using stories about going to school or daycare is very helpful for them to visualize what's going to happen. You can also play at home preparing their backpack, putting on their uniform, or "taking the doll to school." The more predictable the day is for them, the calmer they will feel.
3. Create a simple and loving goodbye
Avoid prolonging the goodbye moment. Long goodbyes or those with many explanations often increase anxiety. A short but firm phrase like "I'm leaving you with your teachers, they'll take good care of you. I'll be back for you later," accompanied by a smile and a kiss, is better. And even if it's hard for you to separate... try to convey security: children read our emotions more than we think.
4. When picking them up, focus on the positive
When you pick them up, avoid questions like "Did you cry?" or "Did you miss me?" That only reminds them of what they find most difficult. Instead, focus on what they experienced: "Did you play? What was the most fun part of the day?".
5. Give them time, and give yourself time
Some children adapt in two days, while others need weeks. And that's all perfectly fine. They might also sleep worse, be more sensitive, or have tantrums. All of this is part of the process. There are no shortcuts, but there's a big difference when we accompany them with calm and patience.
Remember: starting school is a big step. For them... and for you too. And it's not about everything being perfect, but about being there, supporting with love. You're doing great. Really.
